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When a Moron Tries to be Funny Falling From a Ladder into a Pile of Sand Goes Horribly Wrong Posted by Going out for a Quiet one and ending up on Crimewatch on Tuesday, 2 June 2015

“Biggest beauty regret of my life.” Brittany Forster wanted lips like Kylie’s, so she purchased CandyLipz, a lip enhancer that some blogs claim Kylie uses for her pout. She tried the product with her friends on Monday night and, suffice to say, it did not go as planned. The second Brittany removed the device from her mouth, she knew she was in trouble! Her friends tried to calm her down, saying, “they’ll go down!” But, she still couldn't believe what had happened. Brittany told BuzzFeed that her lips “were so big and red the next day, my Pilates instructor even asked if I would like the lights turned off!” As of today they “have gone back to their natural size, however are still a little blue and bruised.” “I think I’ll give lip enhancers a miss for now…the results were hilarious but I’m very appreciative of my little lips now!”

WHAT AN IDIOT .

As far as fare-dodging goes, Ukrainian man Zossima Sozonov is the worst on record. CCTV footage from the Klovsk underground station in the Ukrainian capital of Kiev shows him trying to get a free ride, tripping himself up, mashing his face into the hard floor of the station, and cleanly knocking himself out. Transport police were so impressed by Sozonov’s lack of prowess that they released the footage as a text-book example of how not to beat the city’s underground system. There are so many things wrong that it’s hard to know where to start. First of all there’s the barrier, which is not really a barrier at all. If you try to walk through without paying, a flimsy foot-high gate appears to impede your path. A half-hearted shove w ould push it out of the way, and anyone over four feet tall could simply step over it. Even transport chiefs admit the barrier is merely symbolic, there to remind people that they should do the right thing and pay the fare. Secondly,